Love involves risks.
When you love someone deeply there will be hurts along the way.
Even for God.
“For God so loved the world He gave his Son”. John 3:16.
The process of giving his Son involved pain.
But it was worth it! “For the joy that was set before him He endured the cross.” Hebrews 12:2.
Vulnerability requires taking the risk you will be hurt. That is basically the definition of vulnerability. And, even in the best relationship, hurt will happen. Sometimes by carelessness on the part of the one you love, but sometimes because they don’t know what you need from them.
But risking hurt for vulnerability’s sake is worth it. It is the path to deep intimacy.
It seems to me when you are hurt by your lover you have two options:
1. You can retreat into an emotional shell where you will find safety along with loneliness.
Or
2. You can double down on the vulnerability and say “ouch”, with the hope that your lover cares enough to tend to your wound.
(This assumes a relationship that doesn’t involve an abuser on either side. In that case, all bets are off.)
Loving someone for the rest of your life is an adventure. How can we call it an adventure if it doesn’t involve risks?