Non-Contingent Love at Work in Marriage
Knowing that we don’t have to earn someone’s love does not exempt us from the need to grow out of our brokenness.
You love your spouse even when you know every flaw, wound, and broken area of their life. But agape love is not content for those things to go on forever. True love seeks the best for the other person, and therefore will pray, encourage, and sometimes set boundaries so the other person can grow.
Caution is in order, however: You should ALWAYS be praying, encouraging, and setting boundaries with yourself first (Matt. 7:4-5).
In other words, you must always try to love someone from a humble heart, totally aware that you are wounded and have broken areas in your life that need to grow as well. In this way, two followers of Jesus can help each other in their quest to be conformed to the image of God’s Son (Rom. 8:28-29).
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Book Recommendation:
Boundaries in Marriage, Understanding the Choices that Make or Break Loving Relationships. By Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, Zondervan, 2002.
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